Experiencing stillbirth

Finding out your baby has died

If your caregivers think that your baby has died before birth, you will be offered a scan to check for the baby’s heartbeat. You will be offered support and have the options explained. If you're on your own in the hospital, you can ask the staff to contact someone to come and be by your side (NHS, 2021). 

Guilt, anxiety, and depression are normal responses to this traumatic event. Parents can feel lonely, and support from health professionals, family, and other parents who have lost a baby can help. 

How and where you might give birth

There is a National Bereavement Care Pathway which applies in England and Scotland, and is expected to extend to Wales and Northern Ireland. 

Some parents wish to wait for labour, which could include labour and birth at home, and others choose an induction of labour in hospital. A vaginal birth is usually recommended, but in some situations a ‘compassionate caesarean’ may be considered (RCOG, 2019).  A bereavement midwife will act as a point of contact for the parent and other healthcare professionals (NHS, 2021). 

After the birth, some parents want to see and hold their baby, and have some quiet time together. Many parents take photographs or make mementos such as foot or handprints or keep the blanket the baby was wrapped in at birth. Some parents wish to name their baby (NHS, 2021). 

You can ask if a cuddle cot is available. This is a specialist piece of bereavement care equipment with a cooling system which gives parents the chance to spend more time with their baby to grieve (Sands, 2023).

After a stillbirth it is likely that breastmilk will still be produced. Some people will want to let the milk supply dry up, and others will prefer to use medication to stop the milk (NHS, 2021). Some parents decide to donate for a time to a local milk bank.  Ask your midwife if you’re interested in learning more. 

Investigating the causes

Your carers will discuss with you the option of tests and a post-mortem to explore what caused the stillbirth. 

There will be a hospital review of the care provided to you during pregnancy and birth. The hospital will ask you if you would like to share your perspective or ask any questions, and will discuss their findings with you (Sands, No date). These videos from Sands (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death) explain more about the review process.

Saying goodbye 

There is a legal requirement for a burial or cremation after a stillbirth, but not a funeral.  Some parents choose to have a funeral, memorial, or their own informal ceremony. This may be an important part of dealing with your loss and an opportunity to say goodbye to your baby or babies (Sands, 2023). 

Some hospitals will be able to make these arrangements, while others do not (Sands, 2023). You can discuss this with your bereavement midwife.  

Registering the birth and your rights

The stillbirth registration combines both birth and death records. Stillbirths must be registered within 42 days in England and Wales, 21 days in Scotland and up to a year in Northern Ireland. You can name your baby in the register (Gov.uk, no date). 

Following a stillbirth, your bereavement midwife may be available to help with any paperwork that needs to be completed (NHS, 2021). 

Maternity and paternity leave, as well as statutory maternity and paternity pay are available following a stillbirth (Gov.uk, no date). 

Find all information about registering a stillbirth, including who can register and leave and pay rights, at https://www.gov.uk/register-stillbirth

Where to get support 

If your baby has died or someone close to you has had a stillbirth, there is support available. 

‘Remember my baby’ is a charity offering free remembrance photography. 

The charity Sands (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death) offers a helpline for parents, families, and healthcare professionals affected by stillbirth: 0808 164 3332. It also offers other support such as local groups run by bereaved parents.  

The charity Tommy’s offers a helpline run by midwives who have experience in talking about pregnancy loss and have had bereavement training. Call 0800 0147 800.   

The charity Cruse Bereavement Care offers a helpline (0808 808 1677), and face-to-face and group support following the death of someone close.  

Pregnancy after stillbirth

A pregnancy following a stillbirth will include additional support and care from a consultant obstetrician.  The level of care will depend on any known causes of the stillbirth, and your own wishes. 

The charity Tommy’s operates a specialist clinic for families who are pregnant again after a stillbirth or neonatal death. 

Further information and resources

Royal College of Obstetricians & Gynaecologists (RCOG). When your baby dies before birth