Supporting a pregnant woman or person

Right from the start of pregnancy, the pregnant woman or person and their partner or co-parent can start planning ahead.

Together, expectant parents can:

• Agree when other people will be told about the pregnancy.
• Speak to friends who’ve had babies for support and information. Perhaps ask them what they found helpful.
• Look into the options of places where a baby can be born, and decide which feels like the right fit.
• Find out about financial benefits for families, information on maternity leave, leave for adoption or surrogacy pregnancies and paternity leave (which applies to any spouse, civil partner, or intended parent).
• Connect emotionally. Talk together about your hopes and fears about becoming a parent, and what kind of parent you want to be.
• Sign up to  antenatal classes. 

What else can a partner, family member or friend do?

Pregnancy brings lots of physical and emotional change for the pregnant woman or person. Learning about what to expect can help you support them with the changes. It will also give ideas of practical ways to help them.  

Learning about common pregnancy symptoms

It can be useful to know how the pregnant woman or person might be feeling physically and emotionally. Nausea and tiredness are common in early pregnancy. It is helpful to know what’s normal and what could be a sign of a serious issue.  

It is common for the pregnant woman or person to feel vulnerable or anxious (NHS, 2023a). Sometimes, these feelings deepen into antenatal depression.

Attend antenatal appointments

There are around 10 antenatal appointments for a first pregnancy. If the pregnant woman or person has had a baby before, they’ll have seven appointments. These will be local, perhaps in a GP surgery or Children’s Centre (NHS, 2023a).  

In addition, there will be two antenatal scans which are usually in a hospital (NHS, 2023a).

Antenatal appointments are important to ensure the pregnant woman or person, and baby are healthy. Support them to go, perhaps by looking after any other children while they attend.

Fathers and co-parents are legally entitled to take unpaid time off work to attend up to two antenatal appointments or scans with the pregnant woman or person (Gov.uk, No date).

During an antenatal appointment, the midwife will ask the father, co-parent or support person to leave the room for a time. If you’re the father or co-parent, it’s useful to know that this is a routine check designed to protect all pregnant woman and people (NHS, 2023a).  

Midwives might also ask where both parents live and their jobs, in case this might affect the pregnancy (NHS, 2023a).

They might also ask whether there is a history of twins in the family, and about both parent’s ethnic origins. This is to understand the chance of certain inherited conditions (NHS, 2023a).

Researching and preparing a healthy diet

Anyone supporting the pregnant woman or person can help them be healthy in pregnancy by providing nutritious food.

They can also research which vitamins and supplements are good for the growing baby.

Providing support later in pregnancy

At any point in pregnancy, fathers and co-parents can provide practical support by finding out about:

• what to pack in the hospital bag
• how to support during labour
• what might happen during birth
• how to care for a newborn baby 

The NHS website has this useful list of things to do before the baby is born.

If expecting more than one baby, this might feel overwhelming. The Twins Trust offers support for fathers and co-parents. 

How will it affect our relationship?

Pregnancy can lead to worries about the future and what it’ll be like with a new baby. Arguing with a partner or co-parent is sometimes a result of these worries (NHS, 2023b).

• Sharing worries with a partner, friend or family member might help.  
• Listen to the pregnant woman or person about their worries and what they need.
• Midwives can also listen and signpost to services that might be useful (NHS, 2023b). 

What about the father or co-parent's experience?

During pregnancy the focus can change to the pregnant woman or person and the baby. This can feel confusing for fathers and co-parents. Their own experience about what a father or co-parent is may mean they feel pressure to conform to social stereotypes (Watkins et al, 2024).

Sometimes, fathers and co-parents feel ignored by health professionals. They can feel ‘left out’ and unsure of their role (Watkins et al, 2024).

Building a network of fathers or co-parents to share ideas, joys, and feelings of anxiety could help. Our antenatal courses offer spaces to build these networks. Read more about emotions during pregnancy.