Common emotions when expecting a baby

Changes for the pregnant woman or person

Pregnancy means a huge period of change for the pregnant woman or person.  

An increase in the hormones oestrogen and progesterone, especially in the first few months of pregnancy, can cause mood swings (Society for Endocrinology, 2024).  

It is common for pregnant women or people to experience (Bjelica et al, 2018):

• uncertainty 
• frequent mood changes from happy to exhausted 
• mixed emotions 
• worries about the pregnancy or birth 
• feelings of stress around being a parent 

Up to 1 in 4 pregnant women and people experience anxiety symptoms in pregnancy. 

Depression is also common. Read our articles on prenatal and postnatal depression. 

Changes for the father or co-parent

There is little research on the experience of LGBTQIA+ families. This research was done in fathers so that is the word we’re using. However, it may apply to any co-parent.

Adapting to fatherhood can lead to emotional challenges for men. These could include (Baldwin et al, 2018; Dabb et al, 2023):  

• accepting the pregnancy 
• worry about their sense of self and coming to terms with the role of a father 
• anxiety about the baby and childbirth 
• attitudes towards healthcare professionals 
• concern about the changing relationships 
• competing challenges of the new role, such as practical and financial concerns 

Research shows that fathers want more guidance about how to prepare for this new role. They also want more support in how to deal with the changes to the relationship that having a baby brings (Baldwin et al, 2018). 

Our antenatal courses can help parents navigate the changing relationships and adjust to having a baby. 

Why might parents feel a shift in identity?

All expectant parents may feel that how others see them is changing. They might also feel differently about how they see themselves.

The sense of self for the pregnant woman or person might shift because of:

• how they are treated at work, or how their feelings about work shift 
• their sense of a changing body identity and control 
• uncertainty about how permanent these changes might be 
• feelings of loss of an imagined future self, or closing off possible futures 
• how they feel treated by healthcare professionals 

Both parents might feel a mix of responsibility and anxiety about an uncertain future.

Finding supportive spaces, which might be in-person or online, can help with this shift.

Coping with emotional changes

Ways of managing the conflicting emotions that pregnancy brings could include:

Social support

Talking to someone means that we have to notice our feelings and label them. There is evidence that this can help get some distance from the feelings and reduce the sense of uncertainty (Torre & Lieberman, 2018).

Emotional wellbeing can suffer when people lack social support. This is especially true for solo parents or those with poor relationships with their partners (McLeish & Redshaw, 2017).  

Some parents, including recent migrants, could be marginalised based on their ethnicity. Research showed that one-to-one peer support had a protective effect on wellbeing for these parents (McLeish & Redshaw, 2017).

For LGBTQIA+ families there can be additional barriers to community support. This might be internalised stigma or a perceived rejection by the LGBTQIA+ community. Individuals vary in their desire to engage with either LGBTQIA+ or parenting communities, which could affect their use of support networks (Manley et al, 2018).

Our parent and baby groups are welcoming and inclusive, and a great way to meet other parents in a friendly space. Take a look to see if there is one in your area.

Mindfulness 

Mindfulness involves focusing on the present moment.  

Studies show that practicing mindfulness might help to manage stress during pregnancy, birth and parenting. This could build coping strategies and self-efficacy, reducing feelings of anxiety and depression (Dunn et al, 2012; Matvienko-Sikar, 2016).  

Mental health charity Mind has tips to help improve mental wellbeing, including how to practice mindfulness.

Writing

Writing down how you’re feeling can be beneficial on its own, or alongside other therapies. This works best when the writing is freely expressed with no concerns about anyone else reading it. Some people find it a more permanent expression of feelings than talking to a therapist (Ruini & Mortara, 2022).

Listening to music and singing

Research shows that music and singing can help calm emotions and enhance wellbeing during pregnancy. It can also promote bonding with the baby (Wulff et al, 2021).

When to talk to a midwife or GP

Speak to your doctor or midwife about how you’re feeling, as they’re there to help. If they feel it would benefit you, they may be able to refer you to perinatal mental health services (NHS, 2024). These are services for any woman or person who is planning a pregnancy, is pregnant, or who has a baby up to a year old.

Fathers and co-parents who are struggling with emotions around parenthood can talk to their GP too.

Is it safe to talk about how I’m feeling?

Many people with mental health problems worry about revealing them because of fear of stigma or being judged, or concerns that their baby might be taken into care (NICE, 2014). In fact, health and social care professionals will do their best to keep the family together.  

Midwives will ask about any history of mental health problems. Answering honestly can  help get appropriate support (NICE, 2014).

Further information

Best Beginnings have a range of videos on emotions in pregnancy and after birth for parents. 

Healthtalk has videos of women talking about their experiences of early pregnancy, including Symptoms and feelings in early weeks and Emotions during pregnancy.