Sex during pregnancy

Is it safe to have sex in pregnancy?

For most people it's perfectly safe to have sex, including penetrative sex or masturbation, during pregnancy. Parents might worry about hurting the baby (Brown et al, 2008; Jawed-Wessel et al, 2017). But the penis or sex toy can't penetrate beyond the cervix, so the baby won't feel it (NHS, 2024a).

The mucus plug and amniotic sac also protect your baby from infection.

Will sex in pregnancy bring on labour?

Sex during pregnancy won't bring on labour or increase the risk of miscarriage where there are no other complications (NHS, 2024a).

Having an orgasm can cause Braxton Hicks contractions. These 'practice' contractions don't mean labour is starting, although they can be uncomfortable. Lying down and relaxing can help them go away (NHS, 2024a).

Nipple stimulation might encourage a labour which is about to start anyway (Kavanagh et al, 2005). Any kind of arousal may also lead to milk being produced.

What sexual positions are comfortable in pregnancy?

Some positions might become more uncomfortable as pregnancy progresses, the bump gets bigger and breasts can become more tender. The pregnant woman or person may find deep penetration uncomfortable (Jawed-Wessel, 2017; NHS 2024a).

Explore different positions to find what feels best(Jawed-Wessel, 2017; NHS 2024a). 

During pregnancy, vaginal lubrication often increases (Brown et al, 2008). If needed, you could also use a lubricant.

Does sex drive change during pregnancy?

Changes in libido are normal during pregnancy. Common pregnancy discomforts like nausea and tiredness can mean the pregnant woman or person doesn't feel like having sex. 

The following are also common during pregnancy (Brown et al, 2008):

• Slight bleed from the cervix
• A sense of fullness in the pelvic organs
• Vaginal discomfort
• Less clitoral sensation

Talking about how you're feeling can help you feel connected with a partner if you have one. It's common to have less sex during pregnancy and after your baby is born, and instead increase non-sexual contact such as cuddling (Brown et al, 2008; Jawed-Wessel et al, 2017).

Social or cultural factors may mean some people feel pressured into having sex in pregnancy (Jawed-Wessel et al, 2017). Pressuring someone to take part in sexual acts when they don't wish to or it is painful or uncomfortable is gender-based violence (Refuge, No date).

Alternatives to having penetrative sex

If you don't feel like having penetrative sex, there are other ways to be intimate. You can cuddle, kiss, give or receive massages or masturbate.

When to avoid sex during pregnancy

Having sex during pregnancy is generally safe. Your healthcare provider may recommend avoiding penetrative sex for certain reasons. These include (NHS, 2024a):

• Heavy bleeding during the pregnancy
• If the waters have broken, as this can increase the risk of infection
• Placenta praevia or other problems with the cervix
• Previous early labours
• Being in the late stages of pregnancy with twins or multiples

Can you get an STI when you're pregnant?

Yes, you can catch Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) while you're pregnant. Use a condom or another form of barrier protection if one or both of you have multiple sexual partners (NHS, 2024a).

As always, make sure sex toys are clean before and after you use them.

Genital herpes can be transmitted from oral as well as genital sex, and this can lead to neonatal herpes (NHS, 2024b).

Who else can you talk to about sex in pregnancy?

Your midwife or GP is used to answering questions about having sex during pregnancy, so discuss any worries or concerns with them. 

You can also book a call or online session with a Relate counsellor to discuss any questions or worries you're having about your relationship.

Contact Refuge for support if you feel pressured or forced to do something sexual.

Further information

Our NCT Infant Feeding Line offers practical and emotional support with feeding your baby and general enquiries for parents, members and volunteers: 0300 330 0700.

We also offer antenatal courses which are a great way to find out more about birth, labour and life with a new baby.

Make friends with other parents-to-be and new parents in your local area and see what NCT activities are happening nearby.